Look up and you will find the answer

Before you start wondering what that image means to you, I will be out with it. It is just an image of a ceiling that is there in any house. Many ceilings will have white or half white color with moulding to decorate them but for most it is just a plain white ceiling for any room. I am not getting into the architectural details of the hows and the whys. So let me move on with todays blog.

Have any of you caught yourself gazing at the ceiling while you are in deep thoughts, sad or alone, trying to kill time? Whatever the reason maybe, people often gaze at the ceiling to find a solution. Not able to sleep through the night, stare at the ceiling and eventually you might fall asleep. Going through a rough time or pondering hard to come up with a solution, keep staring at the ceiling and you might find a solution.

All there is, is a plain flat roof that is mostly colored white (yes, sometimes it has colors or design to give an elegant look, but we are not discussing that here) and we depend on it so much in our lives. It is like our go-to haven when we are in thoughts. Need to make a decision at work, find a solution to your problems, start staring at the ceiling and the solution will fall right out of it. Maybe, the reason we stare at the ceiling at the time of need is to find a focus point with little disturbance and ceiling often serves the purpose right. If you all have a different opinion about this, please let me know as well as I am not psycologist to understand any better.

Lately, I have caught myself staring at my ceiling and that is why I thought of letting my pen, rather my keys to take this form on a blog. My ceiling does not even have any colors or at the least, no even a ceiling fan. So I am not sure what I am expecting to fall out of the ceiling. With so much going on at work and at school, it has been busy and stressful lately and I am looking forward to having a good summer and less staring at the ceiling this year.

Will I be lucky?

First off, I have not blogged in a week for various reasons but I am stealing my time to get at this and hope to keep stealing some time every day to work at this. So, I was browsing the papers this morning looking for some topic to blog on. There is tons of news that is happening or in the making everyday from different parts of the world and so I would never run out of topic to blog on. Everybody reads the paper (at least most of us – right?) and so what is the point in blogging about the news that everyone knows of already? To blog on something that someone knows already and someone is blogging on about somewhere … you see… it becomes outmoded. Some can say, that is the point behind blogging and I agree. It is my space to blog on what I feel is ok or what I can relate to but the key is how to keep the reader interested in what I write even though the news or the article that I am writing on is already known. Well, that is the skill I am working on and I want you all to support me in that by sharing your views.

So for today, I picked up a simple news of how a woman, Kristina Schneider in North Canton, Ohio bought the last lottery ticket on the roll with a $10 bill that she found in the store that she was working for. Kristina, a single mother, was already in debt with nine maxed out credit card and almost $9,000 in debt for her associates degree found a $10 bill in the store she was working and with that money bought the ticket for Magnificent Millions lottery game, last Friday. Her luck favored her and the ticket she got was the winner and she ended up with millions. She did not have to put the seed money to buy the lottery ticket. Anyone will pick up the $10 bill or any dollar bill or coins for that matter, if anyone spots it lying on the ground. There is no argument there. But what you do with the money you picked up is the question. I guess something pushed her to buy that last lottery ticket. I can say with certainty that ‘Force was with her’.

Well, what would I do if I got all that money from woodwork? I can go about saying the usual lines just like others would – give some amount to my parents, give some amount to my family, get a bigger house, buy a great car, and donate some money for a great cause and so on. But apart from that, what else will I do. Will I change to be a different person? Will I start wearing fancy and classy stuff? Will I start being like a royal person? I don’t think so. I will still be the same person as I was before. If I am happy from within already, nothing will and should matter. Well, that is a very heavy statement. I have not even imagined what I would do, if I get that kind of money on hand. First, let the force be with me and let me get the money first and then everything will fall in place automatically. Yes, even before that I sure will make a trip to the store to get my ticket!

But Life ain’t a movie

Often times I do my work at home with the television in the background. May it be doing laundry or dishes or cleaning the house, I have the T.V. on with some program running in the background. Not that I can follow the program or watching anything in particular, it is more to have company. When I am doing my work and turn to the T.V. once in a while, I see some colors, images and some music (I cannot hear or follow what is going on when I am washing dishes or vacuuming the floors) to soothe me and keep me going. So having said that, I was watching a couple of movies over the weekend – one was English and one was Hindi.

As I was watching those movies my attention went on to its story. The stories were good. In one, father loves his son very much and the son dies in an accident and the father overcomes the grief, the agony and pain of losing his son and finally adopts another child. It was an emotional piece. The movie lasted two and a half hours. In that span of time, the movie showed me how the parents loved their child, the daily routines, how they taught their child, how he grew up, how he died in the accident and how the parents dealt with the pain and finally overcame it. There was a problem and the problem was solved. Well, all of that in that span.

When I go through any situation, good or bad, happy or painful, I am the one to live through every minute of it. They say that time flies fast when you are happy but what about when you are in pain? What about when you are unhappy and feel terrible about what is happening? How do you deal with that? Even then, a day has 24 hours, 1,440 minutes or 86,400 seconds and it all moves in the same speed, no matter whether one is happy or sad. No matter, in what state of mind one is in, they all have to go through every second of the day, day after day until one can overcome that pain or joy in some way or the other.

One, who is going through the pain, often wonders what the outcome may be at the end. (One, who is happy, just hopes that the happiness continues for ever and ever, until the end of the universe) They hope that everything turns out to be OK in the end. But do they know about the results after three hours or do they have to wait for a long time with faith to know the results. One has to wait it out to know what will happen in the end. If life was just like the movies, one would know everything at the end of three hours but life ain’t a movie!

Reality check on Ms. Pretentious

So the count down begins for yet another episode of a celebrity visiting the slammer. Those of you who watch T.V. or read newspaper or at least hear the radio will know by now that Paris Hilton, who is the heir of Hilton family, model, party lover or simply Ms. Pretentious, is about to begin her jail time starting June 5th for 45 days to serve out her sentence for violating the terms of her probation. She was charged with DUI and was on probation and was not allowed to drive during that period. This was not her first time to violate the law and she ended up driving and was pulled over, yet another time by the cops and taken to court where the judge gave her a sentence to serve 45 days in prison in LA.

Hilton said that cops usually pull her over because she is a celebrity and I am sure they will get a kick out of pulling celebrities and spending the time with them on a one-to-one basis on the shoulders of the highway or some local streets. The cops have a special detector that will signal them when a celebrity is coming by. I am sure. Hilton also said that she was unaware about the fact that she cannot drive and that she drove to work which should be considered alright. What part of the probation and cannot drive during that period, did she not understand. Oh well, she would have if she reads any of the mails right. She had said that she has people who reads the mails for her and that she simply signs on documents that is given to her to take care of business. What a life!

Hilton’s family and fans are supporting her on this and have petitioned (I believe) Governor Schwarzenegger to pardon her. I am sure he will understand and relate to this. How many times has he been pulled over as a celebrity? If he pardons her (I will bet he does – one because he can relate to it and two, he needs funding for his campaign - doesn’t he?) it will set a trend among the celebrities and there will be two sets of traffic laws, one for us and one for them – the celebrities. Whatever it is, if Hilton gets to spend the 45 days in prison, she can come up with more shows and more fame like Martha Stewart. It is not going to make any difference for her in terms of her driving behavior and following traffic laws. Life after 45 days will be the same as before or maybe filled with even more fame and glory, in addition to the money that she will make.

I had once seen her on a show where they were airing celebrity on camera. She was out on the streets and her car was running out of fuel and stopped. She was going on and on about how her assistants did not check her car for fuel. One of her fans came to help her out. He had gone and bought a 5 gallon container and filled it up with fuel, came back and filled her car with it. She gave that guy $10 for doing all that. Come on, that guy deserves more than $10. The cost of the container and the fuel itself would be more than $10 and the fact that he went and got the fuel for her during the night should mean something. The 45 days will at least slow her down a bit and keep her away from all that party-ing and give her some time to think and regroup.

Is this a game?

The reason to blog today was from what happened at work to a colleague of mine and a couple of incidents or rather news that I read about. My colleague’s father is ill and is undergoing an operation for Cancer in the liver in India and so my colleague went to India last week to visit his father. I hope and pray that everything works out OK for him. When other friends and I were talking about it, somehow we got into the discussion of how we can operate on the liver and it grows back if the patient is young enough. These talks lead to other conversations where a man in U.K. went to a doctor and was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He was given a year to live at the most. Knowing that he was going to live for hardly a year he skipped to pay his mortgage payments and other bills, took all his savings, maxed out on his credit cards and spent lavishly visiting places around the world. He was literally broke financially.

Then came the time for his check-up at the end of the year (yes, he was visiting his doctors in the interim as well). During that visit, he was checked thoroughly and was told that he does not have cancer and whatever the cause was can be taken care of with medicines. Imagine the plight of that patient. Should he happy that he is going to live longer or should he curse himself being left out with a rotten life at the end. He worked his brains and sued the doctors for false statement about his health which is legitimate action he took. What happens to all the people who he borrowed money from and the mortgage and bills that he failed to pay? I want to know if he got settled with an amount that would cover all his bills and credit card payments and left with some chunk of change to get him started again in his life.

Another incident was about a judge, Roy Pearson, who gave his clothes for dry cleaning to the service run by the Chungs, South Korean immigrants, only to find out that his pants were lost or misplaced. I have experienced this many a times but my clothes would always be found. In this case of the judge, his pants which were worth $1,000 in value were lost and the Chungs offered to pay him that amount to compensate for his loss. But after a week, his pants turned up and so his payment was refused. What does Mr. Judge do? Sue. Of course he is in the business and that is what he does for a living, so he will know the trick of the trade on how to sue and get more money for his troubles. The Chungs offered him $3,000, then $4,000 and finally $12,000 but Mr. Judge wanted $65 million. Talk about putting what you learn to practice. I think the judge will lose his pants offer from the Chungs, lose the case and lose his job as a judge for misusing his power and knowledge; maybe he will be given orders to go to his job pant less at the court for a month along with being satisfied with a month of free dry cleaning service at the Chungs.

Another incident was when the Brazilian local brewer Ambev was ordered to pay 100,000 reals which $49,000, to an alcoholic beer tester who drank about 16 to 25 small glasses beer with a bottle of beer at the end of the shift for more than a decade. The employee sued the company saying that drinking that much alcohol made him alcoholic. What, he decided to sue the company after 10 years? Maybe he was drinking way too many beers than the company was selling and so they fired him and in return he decided to sue the company saying it made him alcoholic. The employee was alcoholic before joining the company and the company hired him knowing that is the issue. Not that after ten years you drink all you want and then sue the company saying that it had made him alcoholic.

Whatever the case maybe, if you are smart and know that you can make easy money off of someone by suing, one would do it. Cases like these are what make other valid ones weaker. This has become a game in this society where one would ask for hot coffee and then sue the place because the content was hot, smoke all you want even though the cigarette case says ‘smoking is injurious to health’ and then sue the company saying you have become an addict. Yes, this land is full of opportunities and so is full of idiots.

I am all ears

Cleanliness has been a major thing for me. At any given time I would not say that I am the cleanest person but when I shower, I make sure I clean properly, especially my ears. I need to have my Q-tips to clean my ears properly or I feel uncomfortable with a drop of water in my ears. The day I don’t use the ear buds, I am jumping around with my ear on the side to get that drop out. Well, you get the picture. I advice the same to my son as well and he does it everyday as well.

But it looks like not all take the time to clean their ears. When I read about the incident where a 9-year old had two spiders walking on his eardrums and had made it their home, I was shocked. How could not one but two spiders get inside the ear and live there. When my hair lock falls over my ears, it tickles me and I have to move it away from my ears. If an ant walks in my ear, I am jumping around everywhere to get it out. I am not saying that insects don’t get into our ears occasionally, especially for kids who play outside in the woods. But when something gets inside one will be irksome.

I feel sorry for that boy who was constantly complaining about faint popping sound in his ear, "like Rice Krispies" and his mother ignored that, until the pop became an ache that was unbearable and then the boy was rushed to the doctor to be diagnosed. The mother could have checked his ears with a flash light or made him jump with his ear tilted towards the ground. Maybe it is the season of spiders to make more spider-men. Someone should look out for that boy and see if he spins some web in the coming days. I am sure the boy will be excited. With this incident, I will be all ears when my son complains ;-)

What’s the difference?

I am the only child to my parents. I have my cousin brother who I consider as my own brother but still I grew up alone. You can call me “Daddy’s Girl” but never snobby or pretentious. I got my way through everything while growing up. I got what I asked for except for those times when my mom would think that I am asking for too much as a girl like staying out late or going to late night movies. But Dad let me do everything; he gave me full freedom but also told me that I should know my limits as a girl. I would ask for new clothes, new bike or anything I wanted and Dad would get it for me. If I were a boy would I gotten all this the same way? I guess not. Because I am a girl and that too, Daddy’s girl, I got everything.

One might think that the girls in the family get everything they want (mostly and also depending on what the parents can afford) because they will be given away in marriage (eventually) and will be given gone to another family where they do not know how their daughters will be treated. But on the hand, boys are built to be strong both mentally and physically and they need to work for what they want or desire. Maybe! But in addition to what I said before, our parents might be knowing that their girls will not be in par with the boys in the outside world.

Not in agreement with what I said? Take for instance, a girl and a boy go through the same classes in the same University and graduating at the same time with the same degree. We all know that girls work hard in terms of studying and getting good grades than boys do and I am a writing example right here. But let us put aside this fact and consider they both got same grades. They go for the same job interview for the same position and get hired. Good. What about their salaries? Are they the same? No. Girls get 20% less than what boys get. Over time, the difference increases and women earn 69% of what men earn.

Simple reason – women don’t negotiate. They always feel that they don’t perform up to the mark. They always think that they can improve in what they do and they are the worst critique that they can have, for the better when it comes to themselves and not so good in the outside world. Men on the other hand, will perform less but will give more credit on to them. Before you all raise a finger against me, it is not me who is making up but it is from the studies that Post had conducted.

Maybe our dads knew that we will be underpaid and that is why they were paying for everything to cover up the difference upfront and we got away with what we wanted and moms always were making sure that we learn the trick of the trade to survive in this so called “equal opportunity” society. One thing I have learnt from this study is, I better know how to ‘toot my own horn.’

This is where the bus stops

While I was growing up, most of my commute was in the bus. If it was a walk able distance to local markets or shops, I would walk; if the distance was a bit farther or if I was carrying groceries and packages, I would take the rickshaw. But if I had to go to the other part of town or visit a friend or to school and college, I would take the bus. Bus commute was an integral part of anybody who lives in India. Without bus transportation, life would come to a standstill pretty much for most there. It is a means of taking people not only within town but also to go out of town to others parts of India, just like Greyhound here. But along with bus travel comes the fun of risking your life. Once you are in the bus, there is nothing to worry about unless something major happens. But the part of getting into the bus is where all the fun and frolic comes.

So where does the fun come? You stand and wait in the bus stop for your bus to come. You see the bus coming and you get ready to board the bus when the bus actually stops. But the bus stops not in the bus stand but a few yards ahead. So you literally run to catch the bus as the buses follow the 10 second rule. What is that rule? The bus would stop for 10 seconds and then start moving after that. People who are quick and those who can run and get on the bus are lucky that time; others wait for the next bus to come. Local buses in India don’t have doors like buses here, so it is easy to run for the bus and hop on to it. I have done that many times and I guess it is no-brainer but doing the unsafe trick of hopping into the bus safely is the key.

Now one might ask how safe can you be in doing something unsafe, knowing fully well that it is not safe. Well, this is the exact statement that the spokes person (I think it was the spokes person and I forget her name) for buses here said when the local news interviewed them about the rising rate of bus accidents and violation of traffic rules. When questioned, she said that whatever bus drivers are doing, even though it is unsafe, they are doing it safely. Buses in the D.C. area is on the rise in violating traffic rules like jumping red light and stop signs, not stopping at the appropriate locations, making illegal turns, not watching out for pedestrians. Case in point are the pedestrian accidents we hear and see lately.

What does the bus driver do when he or she has to jump the red light or stop sign? Look on both sides to see if there are any vehicles or people crossing or if there is a cop car near by; if not do it and consider it done safely? Buses are with bigger mass and when it hits a car or a person, the results are instantly seen. “With great mass comes great impact”. (Spider-man 3 is releasing this Friday and I have to make this one up as I am a fan of Spider-man – “with great power comes great responsibility”) Rules are there for a reason and it is there to be followed not broken or mended. If the bus drivers are following the rules and are vigilant while on duty, most of the accidents will be reduced. In the same token, pedestrians and other vehicles should look out for bigger vehicles like buses and trucks because they are of bigger mass and can’t stop easily as would you as a walker or a car would. Look out for each other.

Stop your natter and I shall have my turn

I like to workout as often as I can. When I drive in to work, you would often see me park my car in the far off spot in the parking lot, so I could walk the extra steps to get to my cube. I like to take the steps instead of the lift except at times when I am carrying something heavy. I try to go to the gym whenever I can, even if it is for a 45 minute cardio workout on a machine or being in an aerobic class for half an hour (class is usually hour long). I try to make my trips to the gym whenever Yash is at his class, either in Kumon or Tae Kwan Do. I would drop him at his class 5-10 minutes earlier and pick him up 5-10 minutes later after the class ends. During that time I would hit the gym. So now you can see how I am crunched up on time at the gym.

During my visits there at the gym, I try to get my cardio done along with other machines. On any given machine, I do 3 sets of 10-12 reps with a couple of seconds of break in between. So on any given machine; I would be there for about 10 minutes at the most. There are also notices on the wall that says not to use the machine more than 15 minutes so that others get a chance to workout on any machine. This is a way of making sure that no machine is hogged by any one gym freak and that everyone gets a turn to use that machine. With the given time I have on hand, I hate to wait for machines and I work on the machines that are free, coming back to the hogged ones to see if they are free in between.

One thing I like about the gym that I go to is that it is open 24x7 unless it is a holiday like Christmas or Thanksgiving where they close early. I try to go when the gym is less crowded, usually before 5pm or after 8pm. Times that I am during the rush hour at the gym, I end up wasting my time waiting for machines rather than getting an actual workout because there are many people at the gym during those times. But those many people are they there for getting a workout or are they there for socializing, catching up with their friends or gossiping. It is just not women who talk, men do talk. They would put a towel on a machine, to let others know that the machine is taken and they would either be sitting on the machine or stand beside it with their hand on the machine and be talking to others who are working out with them or someone they met at the gym.

I think most people come to the gym just to socialize or market themselves to other genders. I understand that men and women who are in the market have to look out for availability where they go but not at the expense of having others to wait. Yesterday I was at the gym and I was waiting to get to my favorite leg machine only to see that there was a towel on the machine and a woman and a man talking besides it. I went and asked the woman if she was using the machine and she said she was starting in a few minutes. I went to workout on another close by machine, watching her chitchatting with her acquaintance. Ten minutes passed by and I was done with my machine and then again I went to the woman asked her if she was done with the machine. She again told me that she was still working out, standing besides the machine and talking with her acquaintance. Another ten minutes passed by and I was getting annoyed with the woman who was not letting go of the machine and not working on it. I went to her and asked if the machine be free or not for me to use, only to hear her say she was using it. I told her maybe she will be done if she stops chatting and starts her workout on the machine instead.

We go to the gym or workout elsewhere to let go of our tension and relax our body of our stress. But to workout if we are to put up with such cases, what is the alternative? People should be considerate at the gym. If they met someone who they have to catch up with, then they should step aside from the machine and talk all they want, so that others can use the machine. Don’t hold on to a machine and pretend to be working out, making others wait for no reason. You are there to workout your body not just your tongue. You do not need machines and gym atmosphere if your goal is to workout just your tongue.

Reap what you eat

Lately FCC is scrutinizing the ads that are aired on television with the sole purpose of finding out how the ads related to marketing junk foods affects obesity amongst youngsters. As a result of this, there are debates amongst many of us who say that if the parents are strict about what they buy then the kids don’t get obese and that FCC should mainly focus on teens because they have the capability of going to the store and buying things for themselves. Kids who are dependent on parents and guardians to buy things for them will have no choice but to listen to what they say or decide in terms of what is to be bought and that would be the solution to obesity problem. But what happens to the parents when the kids behave badly in the stores or throw temper tantrums in aisles of the stores to get what they want?

I have seen many kids (including Yash) at stores who want to buy candies or toys that they had seen on an ad on T.V. Toys are a different issue but candies, sweets, junk food are what cause the obesity problem. When kids misbehave on aisles for the want of candies or sweets or junk food, ignore them or try to divert their attention to something else or put the things in the cart for the time being and when they are not paying attention, take it out of the cart. During checkout or later on at home when they ask for it, you say that it must have fallen out of the cart and since you are at home by then, you can give a good lecture on their behavior at the store. At least, that is what I do. I am sure kids will become smart about this incident after a couple of times and they will come up with their own ideas. We as a parent should also be in par with them and come up with our own inventions. As they grow, they will understand and start behaving as well.

But this blog was not to talk about obesity or parent’s reaction to children’s tantrums. The result of junk food and sweets are just not obesity but also tooth decay. Recent studies have shown that tooth decay is on the rise amongst kids. Kids very rarely do a good job on brushing their teeth and keeping it clean. Nowadays product like AGENT COOL BLUE™ Plaque-Detecting Rinse helps kids in showing were the plague deposits are. It still comes down to the kids brushing it properly and keeping it clean. There are different types of brushes and devices that are motorized, designed to reach the unreachable niche of teeth. Even with all that is available the problem just seems to increase. I can only relate this increase to kids eating sweets and drinking juices and sodas, whereas they should be eating natural fruits and vegetables and drinking plenty of water.

If good nutrition is not followed, it not only affects their body but also their teeth. So we have kids who are obese and rotting teeth. Parents need a lot of patience to inculcate good habits in their kids, like brushing teeth as often as required. I try to follow it and also force this on Yash. I would rather do this, rather then having to take him to dentist and spend my earnings on fixing his teeth. Don’t forget “What you sow is what you reap” or in other words what you eat is what you are!

How far is far to get far

Growing up had been a challenge for me in terms of studying in India, especially to get good grades and to be first in class. When I was in school, I used to be in the top 10 and my position was never fixed. I would in the third place and the next term would end up in the tenth place. My teachers knew I had the potential and the capability to do well but I did not push myself to face the competitive edge. When time for exams came, I would prepare as hard as I could because I had this visual memory where I would know where different passages or explanation on a term would be located in the book on what side. (not that it helped me a lot during exams because I would know where the answers were but didn’t know what the answers were!) But some students took tuition or additional classes from the teachers and when it was time for exams, those teachers would ask students who sit near their students, to help out. One time when I was in middle school, I happened to be the chosen one to help out a student who was coached by a teacher. Unfortunately, other teachers who were supervising the exam saw me helping the student. That teacher knew for sure that I was not copying but helping the other student and wanted to know why I was helping and which teacher told me to help that student. So I was torn between the two teachers. You can imagine!

When I was in high school I had the urge to do well because I had to get in good college. By then, I made sure I always stayed in top 5 but even then, never at being first. I did give the first place holders a good run. I made sure they prepared extra hard to secure their first place because they knew I would take their spot if they were careless. During exam time, other students still needed help from me and since we were in higher grades, my paper would be circulated so that they could get the answers and at least pass the exams. Some students would write the answers on their palm, hands and legs and would copy off of it. Some students would roll scraps of paper with answers written all over and would hide it behind their ears or in pockets. Looking at that scrap of paper, one could see how that white space was used in every possible way. Talk about real estate and optimizing the use of white space on that paper.

Then came the time when I went to my Engineering College. I knew I had to be the best. I was the first and remained there during my Bachelors’ and Masters’. Everyone at the University knew that I was on a roll and by default I was the first unless I had skipped taking an exam. Even then my helping friends to get the bare minimum to pass the exam never stopped. If I didn’t help, they had their own ways of helping themselves. At that time, we didn’t have cell phones or other gears and our means was the standard paper and writing on palm, hands and feet. Nowadays, cell phones are available through which you can text message the answers or write answers as a note or have your friends call in and give the answers. I saw the same concept being used in the Hindi Movie ‘Munna Bhai MBBS’, where the hero takes the college exam in a medical college with a cell phone in his pocket and wire with ear buds is all that is sticking out and some one is reading out the answers on the phone and the hero is writing away. Cool concept. I wish I had cell phones during my college days.

Now that iPod is in existence with 30gb or more storage space, you could store all the answers for all the questions for a given exam and use the same concept as cell phones to copy during the exam. All this to pass an exam where they ask a set of questions, if you are lucky enough to have studied it, you would write it and if not, they you are labeled a failure at that subject. Mountain View High School Principal. Aaron Maybon recently enacted a ban on digital media players after school officials realized some students were downloading formulas and other material onto the players. Why are students allowed to carry digital players, cell phone and iPods to school anyways? I understand that cell phones are for communicating in case of emergency but most of the time, students are just yapping with their friends anyways. Cell phone and players – even if they carry, should be in their bag and bag is under the table/desk during exams. While taking exams are they not suppose to have just pen/pencil/erasers and the papers given by teachers and nothing else on the desk – at least that’s the way I took my exams here in the U.S. If one spends half the time in studying for the exam that they spend on entering answers in iPod, I would say they would have a fair game.

Are they out of their minds?

A couple of days locked in with a person in a room with nothing to do will get on your nerves pretty quickly. Imagine being with someone for 1000 days in a confined limited area and that too being on the sea. For those of you who don’t know about the adventure that a couple started last Saturday - Reid Stowe, 55 years old, a veteran sailor and his girlfriend, Soanya Ahmad, 23 years old college student who had not done much of sailing, started their adventurous trip on a 70-foot schooner to go around the world, just like “Around the world in 80 days”, except it is for 1000 days, because that is how long it takes to go to Mars. This is a feigning trip to simulate the journey to Mars and hence they will have no port calls.

So what do they do when they have no port calls to re-supply or stretch their legs per say? They stuffed their ship with enough supplies of cooking items – in terms of food and materials needed for cooking and cleaning, fitted their ship with devices to catch fish that they can cook and eat; use tarps to catch rainwater and use desalination to make drinking water from salty sea water. Talking about desalination, I am reminded about the projects I used to work on as a Civil Engineer. Traditional chemical desalinating kits have very limited capacity and are really inadequate, to say nothing about the terrible taste of the water produced. A decent size produces only a liter of fresh water per hour, so they better be having “Survivor 34" which will produce nearly 1.5 gallons of fresh water per hour and they be drinking less water than what is being produced. Otherwise, the following will be true - "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink"

Now that they are set with necessary items for survival, let me take a look at how their day-to-day life will look like. Even though they are equipped with technology on the ship to communicate with their families, friends and sponsors via email and such, don’t we all know how the call drops when it is very crucial and how the internet connection fails on us when we need it the most. Being on sea can cause sea sickness and I have experienced it myself even if it was for a couple of days of doing deep sea fishing. What happens when they fight or argue or break-up? I hope not but just think. When couples argue or fight, they will leave one another for a while and go out do something else to soothe their minds. In this case, they would just go out and have a swim.

At the end of the trip, the duo will be so tired of eating sea food and would never want to look at eating any fish in the future. At least I would feel like that. When patience and presence of mind is required for such trips, I also hope that they have read enough of Moby Dick and similar adventures to keep them savvy. Romance is part of the ingredient for this trip which will become stale when faced with challenge. “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” But let us forget about the Murphy’s Law for a minute and wish them luck for this trip. They will need that in plenty as well.

Oh no – I can’t live

A very close friend of mine sent me a link for a T.V. turnoff week program, basically it says to turn off your television for a week and do other activities instead. When I first looked at the site, I was thinking how this topic became the topic of interest this week. Why? Sri was also talking about turning off our television and doing something else this past weekend which was gorgeous. We were also reading an article that had a list of question trying to find out if you watch more than 2 hours of T.V. every day, do you snack while watching T.V., do you get so deeply involved that you don’t know if others are talking to you and such. If you had answered ‘Yes’ to any of the question, it would basically brand you as a T.V. head.

While T.V. is considered the window to the world, it is also now considered as a means where kids can learn violence, watch cartoons and other T.V. shows all day long, look at junk snack ads and toys, ask or rather pester their parents to get more of it and finally become couch potatoes and contribute to the obesity problem that this nation faces. Anything of limit is good and if it goes over limit, it becomes poison, basically not good. T.V. watching is good for kids when they watch programs that are about nature or wild life or scientific or historic, something that teaches them, enhances their knowledge, supplements what they study in school. But when they watch cartoons for hours together then they are not challenged to do anything else physically or mentally but instead they just end up staring at T.V.

Kids or adults can watch T.V. for some time to unwind, but also should do other activities outside. There are a lot of activities and games that can played outside on a good sunny day. It is good for the mind and body and it rejuvenates our soul. But on a cold winter day, what options we have, some might ask. That would be a perfect time to pick up a book and sit in a cozy corner and read away all you want and be transferred to your world where the book takes you. I keep telling Yash to read to a lot and make it a habit to carry a book everywhere he goes, because books are the best and ever lasting friends he can have for his entire life which will not fail to give him company whenever he wants.

As far as I go, I read too whenever I can, after I finish my chores. Whenever I work in the kitchen, I put on the t.v. and watch it in the passing. But since I had the T.V. on for hours together while I am in the kitchen, does that mean I am a T.V. head. No. While T.V. helps me in unwinding and relaxing, it also helps me to get my chores done while it is on. As per the link, to keep it off for a whole week is good but if you follow to watch moderately or as needed per day, then you will not be at a point to need to shut off T.V. for a whole week. In India, people enjoy what they eat and they eat well. Food prepared in desi ghee and oil, full course meal for lunch and dinner. To compensate for all this eating, they also follow ‘vrath’ which means fasting for religious purposes. Festivals like Rama navami/dhashara and Durga Pooja will have fasting for a week or ten days before the grand function. This is a way to balance out their diet and happy eating.

It looks like having a week off from t.v. follows the same regime as I mentioned above. Watch T.V. in moderation and do other outdoor activities and you will never need a week off from t.v. If you are physically active, it keeps your body and mind active. Let t.v. be the window to the world. Through the window, you can see good and bad that happens in the world, just like the window in your house. You make the choice of what you want to see in the world. Something that will enlighten you and make you more knowledgeable or something that will make you dumb. You always have the right to choose and so make the right choice in watching what you see on t.v.

Shifting focus is all we need

As we all know, incident at Virginia Tech last week has taken the lives of 33 victims including the killer himself. This has been the topic of discussion on the news and on every media you all can possibly think of. The day after the incident, NBC got a package from the killer. Apparently, the killer, Cho Seung-Hui has mailed the photos and video to NBC, prior to his second attack in the classrooms. So the officials are investigating the photos and video clippings to see who might have helped him in taking the pictures or if he had any sort of help in carrying out this massacre.

Based on the tracked cell phone calls made by the killer, emails sent by him, the photos and video received from him and his background investigation, officials are trying to draw a rationale as to what caused him to perform this massacre. Many are bringing out the fact that violent video games and movies are the cause for anyone to loose their minds and act crazy. Psychologists say that bad experiences in childhood and stress in-built a child due to situations they face at school, develops within them and finally explodes to cause such painful acts.

This incident has provoked many to ask how he got the guns he used to carry out the massacre. As per the law, you need two forms of identification and should be a resident alien to procure a gun. Of course, they run a background check to see if the records are clean before allowing anyone to buy a gun. When Cho went to buy the gun, his record was clean and he being a resident alien of the U.S. was able to obtain it without any difficulty.

In relation to this, I heard over the radio talk show that Cho should not be given the gun as he is not a Citizen of the U.S., while the law clearly states that anyone who is a resident alien is eligible to buy one. Also, since he is an immigrant from South Korea, immigrant process should be tightened. The process of allowing immigrants into this country should be scrutinized thoroughly before letting anyone into U.S. If Cho, happened to be a Muslim, that it would have been tied to Al-Quida plotting to attack us again. If he had been an African-American, it would be a mindless act that was performed by them. What if he had been a white American? Who are they going to blame it on?

Instead of trying to see ways to blame this act on someone or some movie or violence, try to see the big picture. While the incident should not have occurred in the first place and what Cho did was wrong, what motivated Cho to perform such action - his mental stability, him having to deal with the peer pressure, ridicule at school, his loneliness and such? He was treated while at school and was noted that he should voluntarily go for mental therapy because of his mental instability. This being in the records, Virginia Tech could not hold him off from admissions because that would be discriminating against mentally challenged people. With many laws supporting many people in many possible ways, how do you filter out the problem causing student.

Every student is stressed by their work load at school, peer pressure, achieving success and fame, performing better than their peers, having to face ridicules by their peers and such. I see kids at school taking AP courses while at middle school. When one does it because he or she can do it, there is the pressure for other kids to do the same. This is just an example of how students are pressured in what they do. Don’t come at me for this, for you all know it is the truth. Add parents pressure to this and we get a child who is all stressed out mentally and physically. Then we complain about why kids are so stressed out, why they have so much negative forces in them and why they burst out and perform such actions. Reach out to them and help them as much as possible. Leave them to be what they are – kids.

My 2 cents (or 2 paisa) on ‘The Namesake’

Like I had mentioned before about writing about the movie, here I am after getting the opportunity to read the book prior to watching the movie as well. This story portraits the struggle of a female to coup up with the new country, new culture and new society as a whole. Movie is toned down to suit the viewing audience. Some details are either missed out or polished from the book to suit the widescreen. The story is not extraordinary but putting it in layman’s terms the struggle of an Indian couple in America. The story is a reality that happens to each of our family settled here in the U.S.

If your family is emigrated to the U.S. to seek opportunities, to gain wealth, to seek further education, to better their lives and give a good future to your kids, then there are scenes in the movie that you can relate to. The story was placed in 1960’s to start with and to show how life was like back then in the U.S. and how you would feel if you came to the U.S. from India. But to depict what the author, Jhumpa Lahiri was trying to, she didn’t have to change the timeline. It would still be the same, even if it was shown for this time. Even today, families who come to the U.S. to settle down have difficulty in adjusting to this society.

It is a whole new experience of leaving where you grew up as a group (in the same sect/group) and to come to this new world where there is a mixed heritage of different sects, religions and people. You always miss where you came from. But being here, you adjust to the customs here to avoid yourself being looked down upon. Things have changed today, one might say. There are many Indians here, many Indian shops, and restaurants and so it is easy for anyone who comes here today to enjoy when compared to those who came in the 60’s and 70’s. True. But even today, people who come here struggle as much to be in par with the others already here.

Making friends with the non-Indians is a major hurdle. You open up to them and are social and interact with them but it all boils down to how much they are open to you. There is only so much and so far you can go after them to pursue the interaction but if they retract there is not much you can do about it. Making that same interaction amongst Indian circle is much easier as they understand where you come from. Some may differ at this, but it is true. People who come here with the notion of staying here for the rest of their lives may open up even more and take that extra step to make friends with non-Indians. It all depends on who your neighbor is. I have had some good non-Indians as friends and neighbors as well. But it all comes down to who you have as neighbors.

Celebrating Christmas just to make the kids happy and not being left out when they discuss with friends later on is good at the beginning. But slowly inculcating the idea that we are not Christians and hence we don’t celebrate is not a bad one either. Yash understands that Christmas is not for him but he enjoys the fact that we get gifts for him, meet relatives and friends over the holidays. We celebrate our Indian holidays and festivals as we would in India and that brings a joy to him as well. He loves to wear his Indian clothes and suits to parties and enjoy the merriment there as well.

In a nutshell, whatever we do here to please our kids, we still teach them our values and cultures with a hope that when they go back to India, they will not have any problems fitting there either. I am sure, if people from other cultures (Asians in general) watch this movie, they will also have something to relate to and take with them after watching the movie. I was able to relate to a lot of scenes and the movie just reiterated the fact that “We can take the Indians out of India, but not India out of the Indians.”

Is it not for her to decide?

As I was browsing through the T.V. channel, I landed upon the news on a ban by Supreme Court on a form of abortion called "partial birth abortion." This is a sensitive issue and many argue that abortion should not be allowed, that it is a sin or a religious crime and that it is like killing a living one. Many can come up with many reasons. But I like to differ. It is the choice of the bearer who decides to be the mother of the child and give it what is needed to bring it to the world or not.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, she might decide not to bear the child and hence decide to abort it. Some might argue that it is a life form and should be brought to the world. In the first place, the bearer decides not to bear because she can’t take care of it for reasons such as poverty, fetus has a medical problem, the bearer is bearing the child unwillingly due to reasons you can think of. Then why go through the hassle of bringing the kid to this world and have two people suffer for the rest of their lives?

There are protective means to stop this from happening in the first place. She can’t have fun and then do this sinful act - some say. But she was not the only one having fun, was she? Then why, she must be the one to suffer the results or consequences when she does not want it? There are some who are willing to see the results and are determined to face it. Then it is good. But if she is not, then she should have this option open to her. First off, prevention is better than cure. But, accidents do happen and in situations like these, she should have the right to decide.

It does not make sense for her to unwillingly bear the fruit (or rather burden) and then suffer with another live for the rest of her life. It is not like having it and then if not able to deal with it, she can return it to the store. It is a life long commitment and it will only make sense if she does it willingly for the benefit of both the lives involved. As long as she is the one who makes the decision, one way or the other, I am OK. All I am saying is don’t make it legal or illegal and let her decide on what she wants to do. But for her, she should take precautions to start with.

Fuel for Media

Media such as T.V., Newspapers and Radio, show occurrences of what happened at Virginia Tech campus this Monday. Though what happened was tragic enough, media and politicians will take the situation and use it to their effect either to get attention or benefit out of it. Whatever happens currently gets the spotlight for the moment until another news crop up. No matter what channel you see on T.V. or what station you tune in on radio, you will pretty much see or hear the same stuff over and over with an addition (sometimes) with the latest development. Since Monday, news was aired regarding the massacre in VA Tech campus, followed by ‘who the killer was’ on Tuesday. I am sure people want to know what happened but not to the point where all you hear is just that.

A week back was the week of spotlight for Don Imus’s issue. At that time, he made the news and all the channels were airing what he said about the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team. While it was bad regarding what he said, it was not required that he be fired from his position. But his news became the most watched. Polls were open in all major news channels for people to vote on making a decision on whether to fire him or not. Discussion forums were created for people to share their opinions regarding him making the comment and what the outcome of it should be. If the incident on Monday in VA Tech had not had happened, (it would have been better if it had not happened) then Don Imus’s news would still be in the spotlight and the same wave would have continued this week as well.

Prior to this was the news on Anna Nicole Smith's death. They were showing what had happened and what caused Smith’s death. While there were other pressed issues throughout the world, Smith’s death took the spotlight. She was just like anybody else. There are thousands of other people who commit suicide or die throughout the world in a day but her death was somehow important for this Nation. This was followed by never ending battle news on her child’s custody and who the father was. The latest in her news was that her former boyfriend, Larry Birkhead was proved the father of Dannielynn, daughter of Anna Smith. Do I care who the father of the Child is? No. Maybe, the way things were heading, (Anna Smith’s body was not even put to rest because the mother and others were debating as to who should get custody of the body and child) even the child would go careless about knowing who her father was. Media took advantage of this (or did the affected party take advantage of the media?) and they were airing the interviews and their findings about the news in every channel plausible.

You can take any part of the world and the media always covers the news that brings attention to them. Take for instance, Shilpa Shetty, Bollywood actress. Months ago, she was the talk of the news because she was the victim of racists comment made to her in the show ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ in Britain. There were protests in India because of this and effigies of Jade Goodall were burnt because she was the one who made the comment in the show. You could see any channel in India during that time and all you would see was how Shilpa was the victim of the racists comment and Indians would not tolerate this.

Months later, Shilpa Shetty was a speaker in the AIDS awareness campaign in New Delhi along with the guest speaker, Hollywood Buddhist Richard Gere. He happened to kiss Shilpa on her hands and cheeks but in public in front of the cameras and this became an issue and effigies of Shilpa and Gere were burnt. This incident became the headlines currently. The same person who was applauded months ago because of her stance against the racist remark became the person to be looked down upon for being kissed in public by a Westerner. Leave alone the fact that she is the same person who wears skimpy clothes and kisses the hero in the movie she acts based on the character she is playing, which is well received by the same public.

No matter who makes the headlines, good or bad, it is only for the time being and the dust of hubbub will soon settle down until it is disturbed by another storm of what is new. As long as there are people on this planet, media will never have the shortage of news to air and entertain or keep us informed of the latest. We only hope that there are good things to be said and shared rather than incidents like what happened at Virginia Tech campus or who made racists remarks on others.

Reality in Movies

I am not a movie buff but I watch every single movie possible. I have no bias in watching any movie – the simple truth is ‘how will you know whether you liked a movie or not without watching it in its entirety?’ But I am told that the first few minutes into the movie are important to watch as it sets the mood for the upcoming story or mystery or whatever it may be. In the same token, you will know the pulse of the movie as to which direction the movie is heading to – a good or a bad one!

Even if the movie is bad, there is always the urge to finish watching it. I always try to see the good in bad as much as possible (only in movies). In a very bad movie, I can see the goodness that I spent that movie time, doing nothing but relaxed and unwound. One such movie was 'Janasheen'. It was a total waste of time in watching a bad movie but with good friends. I sense the smile on those who relate to this. So go on, smile away. :)

I learn a great deal from movies. Some movies are a portrait to real time stories. Take for instance, movies like 'Office Space' and 'Duplex' - my all time favorites. Everything that was shown in those movies was real and it could happen to anyone. The opening scene in 'Office Space' - trying to get to work in rush-hour traffic in the morning, but cars move so slowly because of bumper-to-bumper traffic that an old man can walk and beat the traffic. Is that not true? What about printers getting a paper jam, are we not frustrated at work when things like that happen?

Take for instance 'Duplex' - what about getting stuck with a bad tenant. I have seen incidents like those shown in the movie here in real life and they are so real and down to earth scenes. Having a bad tenant is the worst nightmare one can have. My family back home has had good and bad tenants and I have seen the best and worst of the two worlds. In India, we had a bad tenant once, who rented our upper level of our house. My parents and I lived in the ground floor portion. The tenants used to put T.V. and Radio on at odd times, especially during my exam days when I would be glued to my book preparing for my exams. Imagine me with a book and cotton balls plugging my ears to stop the musical annoyance, preparing for my exam.

Using movies as a media to show reality or fiction or relive historic events is the key. When you watch movies, go with an open mind on what you see. Some are down to earth movies like ‘Office Space’ or ‘Duplex’ to name a few and some are fictional – basically making you imagine being in another world, conquering and restoring peace in the new world and such – like ‘Star Wars’, ‘Lord of the Rings’ and such; some movies make you think beyond what you saw, it shows some element of truth and history in it and leaves the rest upon us to do the research. It just acts as a catalyst to instigate the urge to find out more on the subject like ‘Da Vinci Code’, ‘300’, ‘Fly Boys’.

When you watch them, you can always relate to some scenes or stories as you see fit. Not all of you will relate to the same scenes or movies but you will have your window of opportunity to relate to some movies. I have heard that the movie ‘The Namesake’ is good and many of us immigrants can relate to the movie. I have not seen the movie yet, but when I see it, I will blog upon it. Until then, see movies for what they are – a means to unwind and relax. If the opportunity knocks on you, then relate to it and have a good laugh or cry!

Starbucks Union Zindabad

First off I should explain what Zindabad means for those who don’t know Urdu or Hindi, it means ‘long live’. So the title actually means ‘Long live Starbucks Union’. Now that we are squared off with the title, let us move on to the content. I am not a big fan of Starbucks, except for the occasional meeting of my friends for a cup of coffee or taking Yash for a cup of hot chocolate with a cookie or a brownie when he achieves something like passing a level in Kumon or getting to a new level in Tae Kwon Do.

Whenever I go to Starbucks, unlike some, I just go to one and only Starbucks store near my house and close to all of Yash’s activities, I order my usual ‘regular’ coffee and during holiday season, I get my pumpkin spiced latte or ginger bread latte (have to tell them ‘skip the whip’) Depending on the time of the day that I go in the store, I see different baristas with their green aprons on, whipping away the drinks ordered by the customers. So what is great about it? Any place would be doing the same thing – fulfilling customer orders.

But little did I know, until I read an article about Starbucks Union having a picket last week at Dupont Circle, at the store at 1501 Connecticut Ave. NW. for firing some of their baristas for raising their voices against Starbucks atrocities. Starbucks is mostly understaffed and their baristas are left unsure about the number of hours they would work in a given week. Most of Starbucks employees are working part-time and that is how this corporate is cutting down on its benefits costs. If the employees raise their voice and join the Union, they either get bribed or booted from their job.

As much as anyone would go their and enjoy a cup of coffee, the company should make sure it makes its employees, especially the baristas happy about their work of making those coffees. If the barista is unhappy about their working conditions, I would get my coffee either extremely hot or strong or maybe with a shower of their spit (geez no). What the baristas are asking for is reasonable. They are asking for proper scheduling in their work hours, decent insurance coverage and a decent apron. I wouldn’t mind joining their union to support them. (I don’t like their green aprons either). So, Starbucks Union Zindabad!

How far before you understand?

I was watching the news last night (for a change) and I happened to see the accident report on I-270 that happened early Wednesday. A car and a truck were involved in a road rage situation and were exchanging obscene gestures with one another. The driver of the pickup truck veered in front of the car and braked causing the car to swerve, loose control, hit the guardrail and flipped, tossing the driver and the passenger of the car, instantly killing them. Of course, you can get the detail of the accident, the car and the truck on any paper or news website. I am not getting into the details of it.

Seeing this news, I was wondering, what it will take people to understand that driving is a privilege not a right. No one owns the roads and it is for everyone to use it equally. There is no reason for anyone on the road to think that they are important and hence no ‘get out of my way’ attitude, expect for the police cars, fire engines and ambulance with their sirens on. Everyone is in a hurry to get to somewhere in this fast moving world. So, all it takes is starting a few minutes earlier to accommodate for traffic and unforeseen situation and to be on time at your destination.

My dad would always leave early to get to his destination. Some days, I would ask him to drop me off at school. Those days, I was forced to get up early (I am sleepy head – what can I say?) and be ready to share the ride with him. If I was not ready, I would be left behind. I sometimes would argue with him and say ‘what if we are a little late?’ and the look on his face would be enough for me to get me going. If you are desperate or if it is important for you to be on time at some place, make an effort to start early. It is that plain and simple. Driving carefully and reaching to the destination, even if you are little late is OK by me, rather than not reaching the destination at all. It is “Better late than never.”

I am reminded of Calvin and Hobbes comic strip from Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat, where Calvin makes a traffic safety poster for school and in it he has the catch phrase “Be careful, or be road kill”. Is that not so true in this situation? It is so aggravating to see drivers chit-chatting on the cell phone rather than paying attention to the road. To add to this some drivers put on make-up or eating or doing everything else besides concentrating on driving. Compounding to this problem is the tail gating situation. It is bad enough to be followed by another car closely, but the drivers who drive slowly should understand that they have the right lane for the very same purpose – to drive slowly.

We have so many advances in technology; another one for the purpose of safe driving won’t hurt right? Future cars should have the ability to record drivers information, route traveled, stretch and time where speed limit were exceeded. This information should be sent to DMV or traffic officials, so corrective measures can be taken. (If anyone is visualizing this theme, keep in mind that this idea is mine and I should get the royalty for this.) Let us just share the road amicably. Road rage is not going to take us to our destination as it has its own destination – road kill!

On a different note - To add to my previous blog on Don Imus’s issue – I still stand by what I said earlier – Firing Imus is over kill. He apologized and is suspended for two weeks. It was just a slip of his tongue. There are a lot of times when we say something in the spur of the moment and want to take it back. People say that he is nationally looked upon and he cannot make such mistakes. We are all people and we are bound to make mistakes. If we don’t make mistakes, then we must be God. But we are not. So, let us just move on!

Watch what you say

In this blog, I am making an attempt to address an already sensitive issue and am offering my comments and the way I perceive the entire situation. By no means am I a racist. So after reading, please don’t come to that conclusion either.

Recent hubbub is about Don Imus being suspended for two weeks for his racist remark that he made during his talk show regarding the Rutger’s Women’s Basketball Team. The purpose of this blog is not about what he said, despite the fact that it hurt some people. Don is known as the ‘shock jock’ and he does have the tendency to go over the top and say things for shock value, like they say “the modus operandi for a shock jock”. I have not heard his show, so I cannot say much about the quality of his show. But he is a shock jock and will pick on anyone to get that attention. It is his persona for the show. It is what keeps his show on the edge.

By making this comment it does not make him a racist. His comment went over board and he apologized for it and is on a two week suspension. But some people and groups wanting him to be fired and wanting to make his show and livelihood history seems a little over the top. The news media wants politicians and advertisers to back off from his show. No more ads from Proctor and Gamble, and Staples will be aired during his show. Politicians are asked not to be the guests in his show. Why? I have seen on T.V. and heard other radio shows where non-white (trying to be politically correct here) has made similar comments about their own race. But that does not seem to raise a flag anywhere. When one race makes a comment on another race, that too on a show, just to get an edge or make their show attractive or get some laughs out of the audience that seems to make the entire system hay wire.

Like I said, I have not heard Imus talk on his show but years ago, I was a fan of ‘The Greaseman’ show by shock jock Doug Tracht. I still am, except I don’t know on which station he is aired. (If anyone knows, please share the information). He was punished, suspended and finally booted off from his show because of similar racist comments he made during his show. He was not a racist either but it is just that his mouth outran his brain. Some days his shows don’t turn the way he intended to. If I am listening and I don’t like it, I switch stations; same with Howard Stern.

Few months back, Senator George Allen of Virginia, a Republican, was at a political rally in support of his campaign when he called Sidarth, a “macaca”. The Indian community was up in arms over this fact. Allen had of course apologized and his life and career moves on. Was he suspended from what he was doing? I don’t think so. I am an Indian (and am proud to be one) and just by Sen. Allen calling Sid (and us, Indians) a macaca, do we become one? No. We are who we are. Just by anyone passing comments on us, is not going to change anything. What ever happened to Gertrude Stein saying, “Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose” to mean "things are what they are". Let us just forgive and forget. It is just a show to entertain people and let us leave it at that.

What is your worth?

How many times have you ended up in restaurants to enjoy the surroundings and the ambiance more than the food in itself? I have. I have been to Marrakesh in D.C. which serves authentic Moroccan food which I consider it decent but more than the food, I like the atmosphere of the place, the way food is served and how the group who goes to the restaurant eats from the same plate using hands. Of course you will get your cutlery on request, but the fact that you get to eat from the same plate and using your hands in a different experience by itself. I also like the belly dancing that they perform in the restaurant as a part of entertainment. Will I go there again sometime in the future? Yes. But if someone takes just the food and serves it to me regularly just as any other restaurant, will I consider going back. Maybe not. It was for the atmosphere that I went for not for the food.

Why did I mention what I did above? I am not discussing dining in this blog but I just used it to prove a point that the atmosphere or the setting matters for any product or service offered. I was reading an article about Joshua Bell, one of the finest classical musicians in the world, playing some of the most elegant music ever written on one of the most valuable violins ever made, against a bare wall outside the Metro at the L’Enfant Plaza station. This was an experiment that was set up by Washington Post in January of this year to see if the talent was recognized and people proved his worth in the outside atmosphere.

As expected by me, the crowd paid no heed. He hardly made a collection of $32 and change from an hour that he played on a cold morning during rush hour at the metro. 1,070 people passed by him and only seven stopped to listen to his music for a minute or to and twenty seven threw in some tips in the open case of his violin he had kept in front of him. When he performs in the Symphony Hall, the hall is packed and the decent seats are sold for $100. But when the maestro performs on the street, no one pays much attention. Was his music any less than what he played in the Symphony Hall? No. It is the same person, same violin, same music, except the place was different. Where was performing in the Symphony Hall and where is standing in the metro and playing?

I am sure we are all enthralled to meet the super stars – may it be from movies or from the music world. How many times we attend a performance by such stars and we keep waving our hands from amongst the crowd to get their attention with a hope that you will be the one to be called upon to perform for a minute or two with the star. But when the same star happens to pass by you in a crowd, walking without glamor or make-up, you fail to recognize them. The locale, situation and the venue matters for anything that is offered. There is always a right time, right place and a right atmosphere for anything to happen. It does not matter how talented you are, unless you are amid the right crowd, like the idiom goes “it falls on deaf ears”.

My Cherry Blossom not so bloomy

This past week was spring break for Yash and whenever he has holidays, I do too. What do I mean by that? Whenever he is off from school, I either work from home or take off from work, so that I can spend the time with him or take him out somewhere like the museum and such. My schedule revolves around what his activities are or what he needs to get done for that day. Apart from school, he is into Kumon, Soccer and Tae Kwon Do. When he goes for Kumon, I end up doing my grocery shopping. When he goes to Tae Kwon Do, I pretty much stay there in class most of the time, admire and soak up the art as much as I can but sometimes I step out to buy things needed for my home.

So last week was a relaxed one for us. We lazed around (don’t tell my boss), watched T.V., went for movies, played around and I was glad that I got to spend my time with my baby (not a baby anymore, but will always be a baby to me). We also decided we will go to D.C. to see the Cheery Blossom and its bright pink hued flowers covering all the cherry trees surrounding the tidal basin. I remember years ago when I went to see the cherry blossom with my family when Yash was less than a year old. When I had gone then, all the cherry trees were either covered with white, pink or a mix of white and pink flowers. That picture is still in my mind and that is what I had in vision when I was planned my trip to D.C. with Yash last week.

For those of you who don’t know, the basin is covered with hundreds of cherry trees, not of the same kind but of different varieties and hybrids. It is true that Japan had donated some trees to U.S. as a token of friendship but we too had created many hybrids from the saplings that were given to us. That is the reason that you see a wide variety of pink and white flowers when the tree is in full bloom. Being a plant fanatic, I enjoy being amidst of trees, take pleasure in admiring the colors and their sweet fragrance, trying to learn a little more about the plants to add it to my knowledge base. I got this trait from my dad, who is a Civil Engineer by Profession, but also a plant lover. He is into gardening much more than I am.

When I had gone to tidal basin I was disappointed to see the flowers. There sure were flowers on the trees and had not withered. But the color was so faded because of the cold weather we have been having lately (even though it is spring). The scenery I saw was half in quality when compared to what I had in mind from my memories. Anyways, the best part was, I was with Yash, running around, biking along the tidal basin, sitting on the bench and reading a book together with a blanket on, while the passers-by were smiling at us looking at the coziness we were sharing even on a cold evening out in the open amongst the trees.

These are the moments that I will have in my memory and hold it close to my heart. Even though my trip to Cherry Blossom was not as I expected, I still will cherish those moments as it was time well spent with my son. A little time outside like these is what makes our lives that much more interesting and pushes us ahead. So, I am hoping I will be able to make it to the Cherry Blossom Festival this coming Saturday on April 14th. For those who are reading along, Yash is getting his Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do this Saturday during his Ceremony. If I make it to the festival, it will make the day that much more special for us.

Lost and Found and ….. Lost and?

Have you ever been in a situation where you have held something close to your heart and have lost it? It can be anything from personal jewelry to items you use on a daily basis. I have been through this, many a times. My best friend gave me a book marker, years ago and I valued that a lot. Whenever I would read a book, I would always make use of it. One time I had left the book with the marker in the van I drive and the marker slipped into the deep recess between the cup holder and passenger seat. Even today, pieces of it are still there barring the fact that I can’t get to it.

I also have been the victim of losing my wallet many a times and sometimes finding it too. Despite the fact that it has my driver’s license, my credit cards and money, it is valuable to me. Why? It has my sons’ picture and other papers that hold a lot more value than money itself. Here is my saga of one such “lost and found” that explains part of the title I used in today’s’ blog. Last week when I was at home, I had used the credit card from my wallet to charge it for a product that I bought over the phone. After that was done, I was about doing my other chores and went to the gym. When I went to the gym, I could not find my wallet to show my gym ID card. I got in OK though by using my home phone number (don’t use my home number at the gym, because my picture will come up anyways!) This incident raised a red flag for me and I knew I had to find my wallet and so the search began.

Desperate as I was, I was ransacking the whole place at home trying to find my wallet. I was running scenarios in my head trying to figure out what I should do in case I did not find my wallet. I was recollecting what I did after I used my credit card because that was the last time I saw my brown leather wallet. When I was at the verge of crying (I do cry!), my husband called out from the foyer of our house. “Honey, look!” I came running and wondering what happened now. Reason being - I love plants and have plants everywhere in my house and am very passionate about it. When a plant wilts or Yash breaks a branch accidentally, I freak out. So that was the reason for me to wonder what had happened. When I got to the foyer, I saw my wallet sitting on the handrails of the staircase, camouflaging itself with the color of the wood. So that is the story of “Lost and Found”.

So what does the other part of the title mean? Well, I was happy that I found my wallet. This week on Wednesday, I took my son to watch a movie in the theater. I paid for my tickets, watched the movie and after the movie was done, went to grocery shopping and Walla! There it happened again. When I was about to pay for the groceries at the checkout, I realized that I was the victim again. I left my groceries (of course, I didn’t have money to pay for it) and scurried back to the theater to look for my ‘lost’ wallet. (This is the second part of my title) The theater was packed with viewers for the next show and I searched even though it was amongst people sitting there but in vain.

It is very difficult to find what you loose in this world and if you are lucky enough you might find it sometimes. Hold on to what you value a little tighter; hold it closer to your heart, for you know not the pain when you actually lose it. Now for the magical ending; I did go back to the theater again that evening after the show was over and I searched (or rather ransacked the theater) and found my wallet. My happiness knew no bounds. I will be a bit more careful from now on and hold on to my valuables a bit tighter.

P.S. Do you think it was me who lost the wallet? Or maybe I did ;-)

As fast as fast can be

During my summer vacation while I was at my school and college in India, I would go to Bangalore to visit my cousins. I lived in Chennai all my life and I would go to Bangalore to visit my relatives on a train. Going for vacation is exciting enough but having to go on a train added that flavor for excitement. Average time to get to Bangalore would take 6 hours and that time was filled with fun. Why so much fun going on a train? The train was a means to see the country side that we passed in the interim. We would see people, their houses, their ways of living, farming, and more so, whenever the train stopped at the stations, road side vendors would bring in their local fresh produce to sell like fresh fruits, vegetables and sometimes home cooked snacks.

One would say it is not good to eat snacks from roadside vendors. But there is nothing like trying out such items. People from India would vouch on eating Bhel and Pani Puri on roadside, especially tea and coffee served in plastics cups. They do serve meals and snacks on the train itself. There is one car that is allocated for pantry where fresh food is prepared and train crew would come to sell them to us. Whenever the train stopped at stations, we could get out stretching or buying eatables or magazines from vendor stalls. Average train stop would be 10 minutes and in that time, I would get out to make a phone call to my friends or pick up snacks. There have been times when the train would start moving while I was in the middle of buying something or making a call to my friends. I would rush from what I was doing and hop on the moving train in whichever car I could. Since the cars were all connected to each other, it was easy to go from one car to the other and eventually to my car where I had left my belongings.

These are the memories that I would add during my train travel. But with the fast moving phase of travel, I don’t know what adventures I might be able to gather. Recently, the French set a train speed record of 357.2 mph or 574.8 kph on train V150. It was like going on a plane but on ground. People in that train were saying that the French countryside outside was just a green blur. Going at such a great speed is indeed a marvel and an achievement for the human race and will surely cut down on the time between destinations but not at the verge of losing little experiences that you would gather on a regular trip.

As it is life is moving at a fast pace in this day and age and all we needed was a fast train to minimize the distance between two places. The distance between Chennai and Bangalore is about 300 km and if I am on this train, it would take me about half hour to reach my destination but will I be able to enjoy my countryside site see or have my snacks and food from local vendors? Will I be able to hop on a moving train? It is those little experiences that make my trip a lot better and fill it with fun and pleasure. Even today, I can sit around and recollect those moments and smile and I am not going to give away such pleasures sitting on a fast train. I want to slow down and enjoy life while it lasts.

Is it his triumph or mine?

This past Saturday was a dream come true for me. I always had passion for Martial Arts and I grew up watching movies of Bruce Lee and movies like ‘Snake in the monkey’s shadow’ and the like. I always am mesmerized by the speed with which one can attack or self defend. Even though I did not have the opportunity to learn such an art, I was adamant about putting Yash, my son in one such class. After doing research on what schools and what martial art to put him in, as there are many schools teaching many styles, I landed upon a school in Centreville for Tae Kwon Do (TKD). I put Yash in that school three and a half years ago, when he was four and a half years old and this past Saturday, he tested for his black belt and is one now!

This past three years I took him to class three times a week in addition to him being in the demo team which met on Saturdays to practice. This team will perform in other schools and events as needed or requested. Taking him to his TKD class was like me going to the class myself. I used to drop him off at class and wait in the class watching Yash do his moves. I watched on instructors teaching him new techniques and forms and I used to spend my time learning the moves by watching. After class time, I would work with Yash at home and practice with him. For me, it was like comparing notes after a lecture is over in school. But what can I say; I am an ardent TKD lover. Even though I was not the one in class, every single class brought me new details.

There are times when Yash was tired or swamped with school work and other activities that he was involved in, that he would not feel up to it to go to the class. But my passion to the class was so much that I would force him to class as that was the only way for me to be in class to watch him and the instructors spar. This past three years has been like me going to the class and learning the art. When I came to know that he was ready for testing for black belt, I spent every day with my son practicing the forms, hand and leg techniques, board breaking techniques and sparring. We worked as a team in getting closer to our goal and getting the black belt.

On Saturday, we practiced everything and we were at the school by noon. The exam started at 12.30pm and ended at about 5pm. Those five hours was like being on a roller coaster ride. Everything he learned in those three years was tested in those five hours. There were spots that were rough and I would tell in my mind that it would all smooth out at the end. The instructors and his friends would boost his morale when he would be down with pain while trying to break his double boards (two boards together) or get hurt while sparring. Getting a black belt was just not Yash’s dream, but mine as well. We worked together in fulfilling this dream. It is true that the belt will have Yash’s name embroidered in Korean,(attached picture is just a sample, not Yash's belt - He will get his belt on April 14th during his black belt ceremony) saying that he is a first Dan in TKD but every time he wears his belt or asks me to tie it for him, I will always feel that I am the one wearing it on me and that I am a black belt. I am glad that I am seeing my dream come true even if it is through my son’s achievement.